Dropping the Veil

The true struggle of living with invisible disabilities

Photo by benjamin lehman on Unsplash

I want to drop the veil.

I want to remove the cloak of invisibility and let go of the mask that says “I’m fine" to the outside world.

Because when you look at me you don’t see ME. You see the outer shell.

You don’t see the part that’s tired.

You don’t see the version of me that’s screaming inside because everything hurts.

You don’t see the effort it takes to just push through.

If I say I’m fine, you believe me.

If I say I’m not fine, you think I’m exaggerating or that I can suck it up and keep going anyway.

How bad could it possibly be, right?

So I push. More than I should. Even when I know better.

But you don’t get to see the aftermath.

You don’t see the sleepless nights, the tears of pain and frustration, or the aches that continue into the next day.

You just see what you want to see.

That doesn’t make it the truth.

I’m tired of being “fine.”

I am not fine.